Earth Customs: Learning How to Play Billiards
by MattKyrie
Summary: After failing to get their driver's licenses, Bulma takes it upon herself to teach her alien friends an Earth game.


AN: I had to write a two-page paper about billiards for my college professor, and he said that we could write whatever we wanted, even a short story, as long as it was entertaining. So I wrote this with the help of my sister, Mnicknack. He has no idea what he's in for. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you think I am Akira Toriyama, then you are sadly mistaken and/or delusional. If I was, then Piccolo would be the main character, Goku would be the hilarious sidekick, and Gohan would learn how to dodge. Also, I would have never allowed GT to be made.

* * *

How did I get roped into this?

That was the question that Piccolo kept asking himself. How did he, Piccolo, one of the most powerful beings in the known universe, end up trying to learn how to play an Earth game with Goku, his former rival, and his childish son, Gohan?

Bulma, their useless Earthling "comrade", was attempting to teach the three of them how to play this game called "billiards." He didn't know why they needed to learn this Earth custom—it may have had something to do with their inability to get a drivers license and the following "discussion" (aka yelling contest) about Earth customs.

Bulma was standing in front of a green table—a defective one at that; it had several holes on the rim—with fifteen colorful balls shaped like a triangle. She held a long stick in one hand, which looked really fragile, and a solid white ball in the other.

"Ok, listen up, you guys!" Bulma started to explain. "This is how you play billiards. You take the cue ball and put it in the kitchen—" Goku perked up as she set the white ball on the side of the table closest to her. "—and then you line yourself up with the ball." She leaned over the table in a stance, holding the stick horizontally in one hand and resting the end of it between her thumb and index finger. She then struck the ball with the flat end of the stick. The ball shot into the tip of the triangle, sending colorful balls bouncing all around the table. Bulma straightened up and held the stick like a spear. "And that's how you do it." She finished triumphantly.

Goku and Gohan clapped as Bulma took a bow.

Piccolo just stared at her, arms crossed. "… And, what is the point of this?"

"Well, you're supposed to try and get all the balls of either stripes or solids into the pockets before your opponent." She gestured to the multiple holes. Ah, he thought, so the table's _not_ defective. "Why don't you give it a try, Piccolo?"

She tossed him a stick. He caught it and bent over, mimicking her stance. Gohan bounced over to the opposite side of the table and fixed his adoring eyes on his mentor. Piccolo, aware of the difference in strength between a human and a Namekian, tried to tap the ball with as little strength as possible. Instantly, the ball shot across the table, cracking numerous colorful balls. One bounced off the table toward the end.

"Dodge!" he shouted at Gohan. The little kid just watched with doe eyes as the ball smacked him in the middle of his forehead, knocking him to the ground.

Bulma ran to his side. "Are you ok, Gohan?"

"Yeah," he replied, laughing sheepishly as a goose egg formed between his eyes.

Goku laughed and approached the table, stick in hand. "No, Piccolo! You're supposed to do it softly, like this!" One second later, the Saiyan was staring at the white ball perfectly skewered on the end of his stick. He looked at Bulma. "Can we roast marshmallows?"

Bulma sighed and waved her hand dismissively. "Go ahead. I don't want to see my house ruined by you freaks."

"Yay!" Gohan and Goku cheered in sync as they leapt up and ran out of the room. A second later, Gohan poked his head back inside.

"Come on, Mr. Piccolo! You can just give yours to me, since you don't like eating and stuff." His little head ducked back out of the room.

"I don't eat at all, period." Piccolo grumbled as he followed in suit.

Bulma sighed. Where one disaster was averted, another was soon to follow.


End file.
